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Table of content

• Introduction
• What is anger
• Varieties of anger
• Causes for anger
• Effects of anger
• Strategies for managing anger
• Conclusion

Introduction

Anger isn't inherently bad; it's just another emotion. We often struggle with managing it, but like any emotion, we can learn to handle it better. It's essential for our mental health to address rather than avoid our emotions. I believe in learning to regulate it positively. This requires practice and patience as it won't happen overnight. I will share some easy ways to regulate anger that anyone can do.

What is anger

Anger is an emotion you feel when something has gone wrong or something wrong has happened to you. It's normal to get angry when things do not happen the way we plan. Overburden, more responsibilities, and not having age-appropriate happiness can also be sources of anger. Anger can be a good way of releasing negative energy, but it should be done in a positive manner. Anger can vary from slight annoyance to rage.

Varieties of anger

There are several types of anger. Some common types are:

1. Passive-Aggressive Anger:

Passive-aggressive anger is when a person expresses anger indirectly without showing obvious anger emotions. They may use sarcasm, give the silent treatment, arrive late for events or avoid them entirely, and repeatedly bring up past incidents to remind others of things they want to forget. 

2. Aggressive anger:

If anger is expressed through hitting, biting, kicking, or any other form of physical assault and property damage, it is considered aggressive anger. This type of anger is not only characterized by physical harm but also by yelling, shouting, life-threatening words, insulting, and using bad language.

3. Chronic anger:

Chronic anger is the anger that a person constantly feels without a specific reason. While everyone experiences anger from time to time, individuals with chronic anger feel it most days of the year. The causes of chronic anger can include being raised by parents who frequently fight, childhood trauma such as physical or sexual abuse, and certain imbalances in brain chemicals.

4. Self abusive anger:

We all know how criticism from others can affect our confidence and bring us down. But what if that criticism comes from ourselves through self-talk? Self-abusive anger is the anger we express by criticizing ourselves, harming ourselves through drugs, alcohol, overeating or not eating, and self-injury. This can occur due to regular criticism from parents, emotional abuse from past relationships, mental health conditions, and perfectionism.

5. Volatile anger:

Volatile anger comes from sudden outbursts that occur unexpectedly and can remain in the person even after the incident has passed. According to research, men experience volatile anger more frequently than women. Like other forms of anger, it impacts both physical and mental health.

6. Judgemental anger:

Judgmental anger is when you feel outraged because you believe something is unfair or because of someone else's flaws. This type of anger often comes from thinking you are either better or worse than others. Even though it feels like justified anger, it can push people away by dismissing their different viewpoints.

7. Overwhelmed anger:

Overwhelmed anger is a type of anger that gets out of control. It usually happens when we feel that a situation is too much for us to handle, leading to feelings of hopelessness and frustration. This kind of anger is common when we have taken on too many responsibilities or when unexpected events disrupt our ability to manage stress. This anger is a signal that we feel we don't have enough energy or resources to deal with the stress piling up, even if we can't quite put it into words yet.

8. Retaliatory anger:

Retaliatory anger is a natural reaction to feeling attacked. It often comes from a desire for revenge after being hurt. This type of anger is usually directed at the person who hurt you and can be driven by a need to control the situation. You might aim your anger at certain people after being verbally or physically attacked. Retaliatory anger can make relationships more uncomfortable and increase anger.

9. Verbal anger:

Verbal anger is when a person uses words to show their anger. They shout, scream, taunt, ridicule, and criticize without causing physical harm. Even though there is no physical harm, verbal anger can cause a lot of emotional pain and leave the person on the receiving end with serious trust and self-esteem issues. You probably know someone who expresses anger this way and feels sorry after saying very hurtful things in a harsh tone and manner.

Causes for anger

Anger can arise due to various reasons such as 

• Feeling disrespected. 
• Experiencing continuous ignorance. 
•  Feeling frustrated. 
• Gulit or shame. 
• Jealousy. 
• Perceiving injustice in the workplace or at home.
• Continuous failure.
• When others make decisions in your life.
• Upbringing also influences how we express anger. 
• Physical pain, even something as minor as a headache, can exacerbate irritability.
•  Hormonal changes can also contribute to heightened anger. 
• Sleep deprivation can silently fuel feelings of irritability and frustration.  

Effects of anger

 Anger can affect our physical health, mental health, and relationships. 

Effects of anger on body:

Constant stress and the body's response to unmanaged anger can harm various systems over time.Some short- and long-term health issues linked to unmanaged anger include

• headaches
• stomach problems, like belly pain
• trouble sleeping
• higher anxiety
• depression
• high blood pressure
• skin issues, like eczema
• heart attacks
• strokes

Effects of anger on mind:

Anger can negatively impact mental health, and some of its signs include:

• feeling easily annoyed
• experiencing frustration
• having anxiety
• feeling intense anger
• being under a lot of stress
• feeling overwhelmed
• feeling guilty.

Effects of anger on relationships:

Anger affects relationships in many ways. We yell at our loved ones without considering the consequences, causing them to lose trust in us and feel uncomfortable. More importantly, they may not be truthful with us next time. This anger particularly affects our relationship with children. Once we lose their trust, it's hard to regain it, making them more vulnerable to negative influences. Additionally, anger impacts our relationships with family members and colleagues, affecting our overall growth and peace in life.

Strategies for managing anger

1. Identifying root cause:

To control anger effectively, the first step is to identify the underlying sources triggering your anger, such as physical discomfort, unmet expectations, or feeling overwhelmed. Keep a record of situations that provoke anger to understand patterns and triggers. For instance, if frustration arises from a lack of support in household chores, Collaboratively, plan and allocate tasks with your partner. Consider using visual aids like a chore chart or checklist to track progress and prevent misunderstandings. By proactively addressing potential sources of anger, you can cultivate healthier responses and reduce conflict in daily life.

2. Engaging in physical activity:

Physical exercise indeed assists in effectively managing anger issues by reducing stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline, which are major contributors to anger problems. Engaging in activities like strength training, aerobic exercises, or relaxation techniques such as yoga, meditation and breathing exercises on a regular basis can aid in diminishing the levels of cortisol and adrenaline in the body. This not only fosters a healthier physiological response to stress but also promotes emotional regulation, thereby assisting in the management of anger more effectively.If you feel that going to the gym or a yoga class is too expensive, just play some music and dance. It's a cheap and effective option.

3. Cherishing moments together:

Spending quality time with your loved ones daily, without gadgets, can definitely improve calmness, reduce stress, and anxiety by releasing the feel-good hormone oxytocin. Taking part in activities like cooking with your spouse, sharing laughter and worries, can help with anger management. More importantly, it can strengthen the bond between you and your spouse, increase trust, leading to a healthier relationship and a happier life.

4. Stepping away from conflict:

Walking away from a situation is the best and simplest option. In a heated moment that could trigger your anger, just walk away. This gives you time to think, handle the situation better, and save the relationship. Before leaving, be sure to tell the other person that it's not the perfect time to discuss things and request a break to talk later.

5. Start journaling:

Writing in a journal helps release suppressed emotions, making it an easy and effective way to let out anger or other emotions like stress and frustration, which can contribute to anger. It also helps identify the underlying sources of anger and work on them. Additionally, journaling allows you to see things more clearly and make wiser decisions, as making decisions in anger is not advisable. It guides you in expressing anger more healthily in the future and helps identify common triggers for your anger, whether they are particular individuals, yourself, situations, or physical pain.

6. Make time for your passions:

Prioritize doing what you love. We all can't get jobs that we love because of family situations, financial needs, or having to run a family business. However, spending at least 30 minutes a day on something you love helps relax your mind and stay calm during conflicts. For example, if you are interested in the stock market but can't actively participate due to financial constraints or other reasons, spend 30 minutes daily learning about and staying updated on the stock market. This can help you relax and prepare you for future opportunities. Similarly, this principle can apply to many other fields.

7. Stepping into someone else's shoes:

Put yourself in others' shoes. Before reacting, take a second to think about why the other person is behaving in a particular way. Empathy is a key factor in managing anger. This not only helps you regulate your own anger but also assists others in dealing with their emotions. Ultimately, it results in less conflict and more happiness. It not only creates a happier personal life but also enhances trust in your workplace team.

8. Reprogramming your mind: 

Tune in to your brain. Writing in a journal helps you figure out what, when, where, and with whom your anger is most often triggered. Once you identify these triggers, you can program your brain to react differently in future situations. For instance, if you come home from the office every day to a messy house made by your kids, instead of yelling at them, you can program your brain to respond calmly. Next time, instead of yelling, say, "It looks like you had a lot of fun! Let's clean up the mess together." While cleaning, you can teach your kids about the importance of cleanliness. This approach not only improves the emotional bond with your kids but also teaches them good habits. It’s a win-win situation for you.

Conclusion

I hope this article gives you a clear idea about anger, its effects on us, and tips for regulating it. Anger management strategies do not work overnight. Patience and consistency are key to mastering any kind of emotion. When you find yourself managing emotions and expressing them in a healthy way, it makes you feel proud and encourages you to continue managing them well in the future. Managing emotions is a skill necessary for a happy personal life and a successful business life.

Comment below which tips you find helpful for regulating anger.